Behind the Art: Polaris
Polaris, 2024
How do you see yourself?
I tend to think that the universe is a mirror, reflecting back our own internal musings, beliefs, and challenges. So what might happen if our internal world were guided by deep self-understanding and love? How might our external world become a more colorful, joyful, and loving place to be?
Polaris, or the North Star, is named after its location so close to the north celestial pole. It became an important tool for navigation in nearly every culture around the world because it remains a fixed point in the sky while all the other stars appear to revolve around it. Countless myths and legends have been passed down by ancient civilizations to explain and appreciate its position as a constant in an ever-changing world. With this as inspiration, I began to see the act of introspection as a tool that guides us toward our own personal North Star, or highest Self. The highest Self is the truest version of the self, unmarred by layers of conditioning, fear, expectation, or external validation. This divine being is essentially the soul within each of us.
“Maturity of spirit is touching your inner sky. Once you settle down in your inner sky, you have found a home, and a great maturity arises in your actions, in your behavior. Then whatever you do has grace in it. Then whatever you do is a poem in itself. You live poetry, your walking becomes dancing, your silence becomes music.”
Osho
As I dive deeper into introspection, I find joy in the chance to explore a whole universe and build a sacred home within myself. Each memory, perception, interest, and opinion colors my world. And there’s a unique kind of peace that can be cultivated from growing to understand and accept myself. The fluid brush strokes and color palette in Polaris lend themselves to the tranquility of this experience.
Without a foundation of genuine understanding, can love really exist?
Thich Nhat Hanh writes in How to Love, “Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.” Because I believe that love and understanding are intertwined, if I want to love myself deeply, I have the responsibility of exploring the depths of myself so I can grow in self-understanding. I chose to mirror this self portrait to draw a parallel to the way I’ve learned to look at myself. The expression is serene and loving to reflect the way that self-exploration brings peace and joy when done out of love. Though the portrait itself is a mirror image, some of the brush strokes in the background are not mirrored. The fluidity of the background is meant to mimic the elements of water and ether. It’s what I imagine my inner world to look like when I’m in a state of alignment. I’m never going to be perfect and there will always be something new to see the second time I look at anything, including myself. But The North Star sits directly in the center of the piece, between the mirrored portraits, to represent its reliable nature in the midst of constant change - the same way it sits in the sky to guide navigators despite a sky of stars that appear to shift at every moment. I choose to stay focused on my personal North Star because it brings me closer to my highest Self.
There is a vast difference between looking to find flaws and looking to find beauty.
One is born of criticism and the other is born of love. One destroys while the other uplifts. It’s so easy to look at ourselves in the mirror each morning as we get ready for the day with a lack of appreciation or awareness, or even with a critical eye focused on picking apart our physical being. But when we pause to gaze into our eyes, to smile at ourself, or to speak a positive affirmation, the moment is immediately transformed by appreciation.
The way we see the world is a direct reflection of our inner world. There is no greater gift I can offer to my community, or myself, than my own introspection. When I understand and accept myself with loving kindness, it becomes possible to understand and accept others in the same way.
Photos by Sam Chang
Understanding plays a huge role in self-love, but that understanding has to be honored through action for it to hold meaning.
Often we're afraid to trust ourselves. We feel the envy when we watch someone else doing what we aspire to, and we make excuses because we're afraid to step outside our comfort zone. The fear of failure holds us back from aligning with who we truly are beneath our conditioning. We hear the whisper asking us to try that new thing, and we ignore the call because we’re afraid of making mistakes. What others think becomes more important than our truth. But no one can give you what you want but yourself. You are the only person you live the entirety of your life with.
The energy of this piece is not only asking you to understand yourself, but to trust yourself above anyone else.
To grow self-trust, we have to learn to listen to ourselves. To drown out the noise of external opinions, to release the desire to live up to anyone else’s expectations, to move closer to our own unique voices. Polaris represents the journey of learning to hear myself loud and clear so I can honor that voice through loving action. I have to see myself clearly so I can honor my vision through creativity.
Journal prompts to cultivate deeper self-trust:
What does self-belief mean to you?
What are your biggest strengths, qualities or traits?
What have those strengths allowed you to do in your life?
When have you felt a lack of self-belief but strived forward anyway? How did you feel afterwards?
Think of a time when you have been challenged recently. How did you persist through that, regardless of the outcome?
As you practice building a home in yourself, you become more beautiful.
I don’t think there’s anything more satisfying than personal growth. It’s an honor to be with myself. It’s gratifying to continue on this path of alignment. Even the challenges bring something to be grateful for because they push me to deepen my relationship with myself. Sometimes it’s tough to reflect on past experiences and know I’d handle it totally differently today, but that only speaks to the amount of transformation I’ve gone through. The gratitude I have for myself - in the darkness and in the light - makes me happier than I’ve ever been before. And I get to witness how that joy spills out into my relationships, my creativity, my decision-making, and everything I do.
“The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Learning and trusting your own Polaris has the power to create a more brilliant world, not only for yourself, but for everyone who comes near and finds inspiration in the way that you choose to live authentically. It is so healing to fall deeply in love with yourself, to honor that love, and to watch how it makes every other aspect of your life flourish. I only hope that this piece offers someone a new understanding of self-love.
